Some things never change | A reminiscence

I’ve been at university for a month now, and I’ve realised that once you get here and you start making friends and settling in, you begin to lose track of time and life and people back at home. You get taken into this whirlwind, a huge journey that will, hopefully, lead you to great places. It’s as though you’ve been thrown into a whole other world and are seated in the fastest rollercoaster you can imagine. You have good days and bad days, ups and downs, do things you never imagined you would.

I never thought I’d make it past the first week, let alone the first month. Finding my feet in a new city, learning how to cook, clean and fend for myself, making friends and starting a new course, the whole prospect of this was daunting to me and still is.

With being an hour away from my family, home sickness is a worry. Thankfully I’ve not suffered from it much, but there have been times where the only thing I’ve wanted is to be in my dad’s arms or sat watching The Walking Dead snuggled up to my mum. It sounds lame but I actually really miss those warm cosy Sunday nights just chilling in front of the TV. I see home sickness as a good thing. Although at the time you feel pretty numb and all you want to do is curl up in your own bed, it gives you a sense of grounding. It makes you understand just how much you appreciated your life before university, your parents and everything they’ve done for you.

In a way it gives you more strength.

I was lucky enough to go home for my mum’s birthday last weekend and see my whole family, and when coming back on the train I had this realisation with myself at how so much has changed over my life and yet equally so much has stayed the same.

Here are a few things that will never change...

-          I used to dress up in anything I could find as a child, whether that be a devil for halloween, an elf or even a clown! I guess things haven't changed too much, I mean,  Halloween is on the horizon... who knows? I may embrace the night as a devil again!

-          I’ve always been interested in history, when I was younger I'd dress up as a knight... but now I'd prefer to be saved by one!

-          I could kick anyone’s ass at Taekwondo and learnt how to defend myself, but now no one messes with me...

-          I used to be quite a messy eater when I was little, and I guess I’m quite a messy eater now... (I'm writing this after getting mayonnaise all around my mouth from a McDonnalds, Some things never change).

I wore the most adorable hats when I was little, and I still wear some pretty groovy hats now...

I was always up for new challenges, and I guess I still am up for challenges!!

Moving away from home puts your whole life in perspective, but even though I’m at university, I still feel strongly connected with everyone back at the ranch. We’re a really close knit family, I trust them with my life and know that I can talk to them about anything anytime. This relationship I have with them will always stay the same.

It’s kind of weird how things have changed and yet on the other hand they really haven't. Maybe it’s situations that change and us as humans adjust to the situations but don’t actually change ourselves. Or maybe with new experiences and new beginnings you have to adapt and change your character in order to live. It’s like I’m a chameleon camouflaging into my surroundings but when you look closely I’m still the exact same person I was when I was 5 years old. 

Challenge | Question 2

What are you most afraid of?

I don’t know why, I think it’s the unknown but I can never talk about death or think about death without feeling sick. I mean, I can’t imagine not being here. Leaving all of your friends and family behind.  Not living, seeing or feeling. Everything just numb, gone and forgotten about in a rotting grave.

I’m a religious person, I do believe in a God or a greater being but somehow that still doesn’t fully comfort me. I think now with the world becoming more secular you’re open to more views on life after death allowing you to think more and make your own opinion.

It’s great how in medieval times God and Religion was so powerful that when someone died people celebrated rather than being sad. They thought you were going to a better place and they had no fear as it was an honour to die. That to me is such a good way of living. To believe that there is something, spiritual or not just that sense of there being something after death may take away the fear.

I try and tell myself this and I do believe that the spirit carries on, but for some strange reason, I still fear death.

I see our bodies as an empty vessel, almost like a shell that the soul takes on and once the body dies, the spirit then leaves. The whole body thing is just like a machine.

Take a car for example. We have to set the ignition for the car to work and then we can take it on a journey. The engine runs by its self until it has no fuel. I think our bodies are like this. The soul ignites us and brings us to life, then it controls our journey and what we are like and then one day we die (or should I say, run out of fuel) and the spirit leaves the body.

After that, the possibilities are endless…

• Reincarnation – Do we get to live again as our soul takes on another body? Is it just like stepping out of one car and into another?
• Ghosts – Do we still get to roam the Earth? Maybe space? Or other planets?
• Heaven and Hell – are we met by our maker?
• Nothing – Does the spirit also die?

The list goes on and on.

I do think we are a ball of energy which is released once we die. If we’re ghosts can this energy have the force to push and pull things? Are there a hundred more senses that the spirit has that our human body is only subjected to five? There is so much we don’t understand because I think our human brain is limited to the spirits knowledge.

One thing is for sure is that death happens to us all, everyone goes through the process and yet no one knows what this process consists of.

Like I said before, I’m afraid of death but I think I’m more afraid of the unknown.