Some things never change | A reminiscence

I’ve been at university for a month now, and I’ve realised that once you get here and you start making friends and settling in, you begin to lose track of time and life and people back at home. You get taken into this whirlwind, a huge journey that will, hopefully, lead you to great places. It’s as though you’ve been thrown into a whole other world and are seated in the fastest rollercoaster you can imagine. You have good days and bad days, ups and downs, do things you never imagined you would.

I never thought I’d make it past the first week, let alone the first month. Finding my feet in a new city, learning how to cook, clean and fend for myself, making friends and starting a new course, the whole prospect of this was daunting to me and still is.

With being an hour away from my family, home sickness is a worry. Thankfully I’ve not suffered from it much, but there have been times where the only thing I’ve wanted is to be in my dad’s arms or sat watching The Walking Dead snuggled up to my mum. It sounds lame but I actually really miss those warm cosy Sunday nights just chilling in front of the TV. I see home sickness as a good thing. Although at the time you feel pretty numb and all you want to do is curl up in your own bed, it gives you a sense of grounding. It makes you understand just how much you appreciated your life before university, your parents and everything they’ve done for you.

In a way it gives you more strength.

I was lucky enough to go home for my mum’s birthday last weekend and see my whole family, and when coming back on the train I had this realisation with myself at how so much has changed over my life and yet equally so much has stayed the same.

Here are a few things that will never change...

-          I used to dress up in anything I could find as a child, whether that be a devil for halloween, an elf or even a clown! I guess things haven't changed too much, I mean,  Halloween is on the horizon... who knows? I may embrace the night as a devil again!

-          I’ve always been interested in history, when I was younger I'd dress up as a knight... but now I'd prefer to be saved by one!

-          I could kick anyone’s ass at Taekwondo and learnt how to defend myself, but now no one messes with me...

-          I used to be quite a messy eater when I was little, and I guess I’m quite a messy eater now... (I'm writing this after getting mayonnaise all around my mouth from a McDonnalds, Some things never change).

I wore the most adorable hats when I was little, and I still wear some pretty groovy hats now...

I was always up for new challenges, and I guess I still am up for challenges!!

Moving away from home puts your whole life in perspective, but even though I’m at university, I still feel strongly connected with everyone back at the ranch. We’re a really close knit family, I trust them with my life and know that I can talk to them about anything anytime. This relationship I have with them will always stay the same.

It’s kind of weird how things have changed and yet on the other hand they really haven't. Maybe it’s situations that change and us as humans adjust to the situations but don’t actually change ourselves. Or maybe with new experiences and new beginnings you have to adapt and change your character in order to live. It’s like I’m a chameleon camouflaging into my surroundings but when you look closely I’m still the exact same person I was when I was 5 years old. 

Childhood | A late night ramble

I want to be 5 again. Wouldn’t it be great to be that age, when nothing mattered, you got to play with toy dinosaurs and beanie babies all day. There was no concept of time. Tea would be made and you’d be called in from the back garden to come and eat it only then to return to playing pretend. I feel I was much more creative in my mind back then than I am now. I may know more, but fun isn’t the same kind of fun. Stories are ruined. Magic that was once there is now lost and things don’t seem to have that sunny hazy glow to them any more.

It’s quite sad, and I don’t understand it really. The saying ‘’the good old days’’, I’ve never got it until now. Of course there will be more good days to come, but I doubt they’ll ever be as good as all of the special moment I had as a child. My childhood seems to be packed with sunny memories.

Where has the sun gone?

I’m sure it must have rained but I can’t remember those days. They say the brain only remembers the good memories and maybe that’s what’s happening here …

The only rainy memory I have is that of a thunderstorm. Me and my sister were sat by our pond in the pouring rain, counting the moths at the window and watching the lightening light up the sky.

We used to make potions out of leaves, water, mud and grass. We invented Whizzers (when really, they were just water balloons). We’d have BBQs and stay out in the back garden until 10 o' clock … YES!! 10 o' clock!

Everything was innocent and charming … Where has time gone? I can’t seem to keep up with it these days. It’s only a few months until I’ll be leaving home and moving to University, not to mention I’m 18 a week tomorrow. Everything is so scary and everything is going by so fast.

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and revisit those halcyon days.